Monday, January 28, 2008

Douche Pipe Dreams

If the problems of the World and the nation could be addressed and solved by simply saying so, George Bush would be our greatest President. During the State of the Union Address, this evening, he claimed the country and it's citizens to be in the best shape ever. The economy is sound, the dollar strong. No child has been left behind. Great health care is available to all. Democracy is blooming and tyranny in retreat around the World. We have prevailed in the Middle Eastern War, peace is at hand. Genocide bad, liberation of the oppressed good. God is on our side, so we get to decide which is which. Taxes will be lowered. Spending will be cut. The check is in the mail. We will not allow weapons of mass destruction to grease the axle of evil.

Unfortunately, nothing he said was true. Very little of it had any relationship with reality. He could have mailed the fucker in. There's no point in doing an assignment on time and presenting it in class if you know you're going to get an F anyway. George, take the day off. Go to the beach. Catch some rays and waves. Smoke a doob. You're not going to disappoint anyone. Nobody.

I loved the speech. Afterward, I felt so fresh and the painful itching was gone!

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