Monday, July 31, 2006

A Requiem for Israel

If ever there was a missed opportunity for the residents of the Middle East, it is the way they have handled the formation of the Jewish state of Israel. From the very beginning, they have misjudged and mishandled the opportunities presented to them. It's not like the Jews descended on Palestine like a horde of blood thirsty barbarians intent on rape, pillage and enslavement. Let's look for a moment at the way things could have been for the Palestinians.

They could have had infrastructure. One of the first things the Jews did when they got to Palestine was get the utilities turned on. The basic improvements the Jews brought to the area are almost too embarrassingly numerous to list. Water, power, roads, communications, public sanitation, none of these things existed before the Jews. The difference that they make in the quality of life is staggering. Once the utilities are on, other opportunities present themselves.

They could have had agriculture. Goats, and a date palm, are not agriculture. The Israelis grow grain, fruit and vegetables. They produce meat and dairy products, they fish. More importantly, they process and package these things so that they can be transported to the people who consume them in a wholesome condition.

They could have had industry. The Israelis make stuff, in factories. Real stuff, not just rugs, a few hookahs, and the odd camel saddle. They produce pretty much every thing they need, from furniture to electronics to pharmaceuticals. Oh yeah, and weapons, they make their own weapons, they don't get them from the US, except for aircraft, which they modify extensively.

They could have had commerce. Israel produces enough that they are able to export large quantities for sale internationally. There is no oil in Palestine and a fellah's got to make a living.

They could have had tourism. Huge numbers of people spend astronomical amounts of money each year to vacation in Israel, inspite of the enmity, destruction and random killing that occur there daily. Go figure.

I'm still leaving out a lot of stuff. Healthcare. Education. Peace. The list goes on and on. Israel has offered to share everything they have with their neighbors all along the way. They still offer it today. That Israel even exists as a sovereign nation is due to Palestinian enmity. The UN would never have partitioned Palestine if not for the fighting that was initiated by the Palestinians at the close of World War II.

Israel won't disappear tomorrow. They're there and they're not going to leave. There is no place for them to go. So they will fight. They will fight to the last little child. Ultimately, they will use every weapon at their disposal and that's a lot of weapons. There's not going to be much left of the Middle East when it's over. Israel will Nuke them back into the seventh century. That was the century when they still had relevance, and it's the century where they want to be. So the Arabs will get their way after all.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Is That A Fork In The Road Commin' Up?

Five Jewish American ladies were shot yesterday in an office building in Seattle. A leader at the mosque attended by the 30 year old Palestinian-American who shot these women down in cold blood stated that he was a quiet loner with few friends. Now there's a line we've heard before. Turns out this guy works at the Hanford Nuclear Facility, with his father, and "many members of the areas Islamic community". These guys all presumably have gone through extensive background investigation, received security clearances and have been pronounced to be loyal Americans. Can anyone say "Dirty Bomb". The areas Islamic community is still actively involved in facilitating the immigration of numerous family members from the Middle East. Yes folks, that's right, we're still letting prospective terrorists legally become residents of this country.

Let me make it real clear. George Bush is not a good President. The Department of Homeland Security is not doing a good job. The Iraq War is not having any positive effect on the War on Terror. There are a billion and a half Muslims in the World. They all regard us as Infidels. We have been exposed to the true religion and have rejected it. We have taken hostile action against Islam and supported the enemies of Islam. Killing us is not only sin free, bonus points are awarded. The next sound you hear may be the ululating cry of a 13 year old female suicide bomber, as she crowds in next to you in line at the Baskin-Robbins. You have given up your Constitutional Rights to George Bush, but he didn't make you safer, did he?

It is time for us as a nation to stop lying to ourselves, and to stop listening to the lies of the politicians on the left and the right. Terrorists aren't coming to this country, they're already here, but you know what, they could be convinced to leave. If needed, our Armed Forces can help to "Normalize" relations with Islamic nations, but it won't have anything to do with making them "Democratic Members of the World Community". The dealer calls the game and the game is terror. You got to play out the hand. You can't let some snotty, retarded frat boy and his bullying friends change the rules to what they want. The Muslim World wants terror? Deal it out.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Anybody Home?

Mr President:

Three Years, many hundreds of billions of the tax dollars that Americans entrusted to you, thousands of American servicemen dead, tens of thousands more maimed, that's what Iraq has cost us so far. You have told us why we needed to unilaterally invade Iraq. In fact, you've told us several times, and each reason proved to be, in turn, untrue. The most recent of your increasingly weak justifications for the flushing away of American lives and resources, into the toilet that is Iraq, involves our need to establish it as a "Democratic Ally", upon which we can build a "New Era"of peace in the Middle East.

So, this week, President Maliki of the new democratic state of Iraq, comes to Washington, criticizes Israeli "Aggression" in Southern Lebanon and won't utter the slightest rebuke of the international Islamofascist terrorist organization, Hezbollah. What's the next reason you're going to use to justify the Iraqi invasion?


Tuesday, July 25, 2006

What about Lebanon?

Mr. President:

Let's talk a little bit about Lebanon. Of all the countries in the Middle East, only one shows any promise as a potential outpost of secular democracy and that is Lebanon. The reason for this is that they have a tradition of religious and social tolerance.
The population is a rich mix of racial and religious diversity. It is the center of the Maronite Christiam community, one of the oldest Christian sects. It has long offered sanctuary to refugees of genocidal persecution from Europe, Africa and Asia, as well as the Middle East. It is because of this tolerance and diversity that they are not well loved by their neighbors. The use of Lebanon as a battleground with the Jews, by Hezbollah, is a win-win situation for them. When it's over and done with and Hezbollah retreats into the sanctuary of Syria, they will leave behind the smoking ruin of a country they care nothing about. The cost to them? A few thousand obsolete missiles, and an insignificant number of casualties. What do they gain? A huge propaganda victory and further polarization of the Muslim world against the US and Israel. This kind of action has tremendous popularity in the Muslim World. It offers encouragement and a template for success to Islamic liberation groups from Sub-Saharan Africa to the Philippines.

Here's the sad truth, intervention is futile. My advice, stay away. Much smarter and more well thought of American Presidents than you have tried and failed to change the dynamics of the Muslim world. You want to make a difference, there's only one way, kill them all. Every Taureg in the Atlas Mountains, every juvenile delinquent in the slums of Marseilles, every bare breasted Balinese maiden of them. The number I hear most often is 1.25 billion but it may be closer to 1.5. Have at 'em, Cowboy! What's wrong? All hat and no saddle?

Monday, July 24, 2006

A Confession to Make

Mr President:

I approach you today with a heavy heart. I have a confession to make. When I'm done I will have lost any respect I may ever have had with my fellow Americans, but I can no longer remain silent. I must speak the truth, no matter the cost. Jimmy Carter was my favorite President. I thought he did a great job and I still miss him.

Jimmy began his professional life, like many American boys from the Heartland, by joining the military. He went to sea as a submarine sailor and was, by all accounts, a very good one. Being a submariner marks you for life in ways that it's difficult for the rest of us to understand or accept. Submarines are the most complicated, nonautomated, troubleprone machines ever devised by man. While submarines are an exclusively military piece of technology, no Rambo types inhabit their claustrophobic compartments and passageways. Submariners apply themselves to the task of mastering their environment and doing their jobs with an intensity that is not normal. The honesty and blunt frankness that characterizes the communication between submarine sailors is not often appreciated by outsiders. Half a century ago, Jimmy learned the secret that few know and fewer will admit. It doesn't matter what God you pray to, how much money you have, what your race is, or your sexual preference. What's important is that a shipmate will stand to his station, and do his job, and do it right, when the battle lanterns come on, and the air goes bad, and the water comes in.

I always thought that most of Jimmy's problems as President were related to his time as a submariner. There was never a lot of rosy scenario propaganda coming out of his Whitehouse. He told the truth as he saw it. When the corporations that ran the mines, mills and factories in the area we now call the Rust Belt, shut them down and took production overseas, there wasn't much he could do about it, and he said so. Nobody liked that. Today, we pretend that we can keep the economy going forever by cleaning each others swimming pools, selling each other cheap Chinese goods, and printing more money. We all know it's a lie, but we don't talk about it.

America might not be the place it once was and while I sincerely hope it's not true, you might be the President we deserve . As for myself, I'd be more comfortable with a man like Jimmy Carter. A man who would stand to his station, and do his job, and do it right, when the battle lanterns come on, and the air goes bad, and the water comes in.

Thanks for listening Mr. President. Why don't you go downstairs and have them make you a drink. Hell, have two, and a couple of lines of coke. I know, you won't be worth shit in the morning, but you're really not worth shit anyway.

No Moral Equivalence

Mr. President:

UN Ambassador Bolton, while still not making any sense in his public utterances, is at least becoming a little more interesting. He seems to be fixated on the concept of moral equivalence and finds that there is none between the various groups of the slain, whose subsets make up the butchers bill for the "Global War on Terror". For example, take the groups of the dead on our side, about 3,000 each 9/11 victims and American servicemen. According to him there is no moral equivalence between them and any Iraqi dead, whether combatant or noncombatant and whether the combatants were engaged in jihadi or factional violence. Likewise, he finds there is no moral equivalence between Israeli casualties and Lebanese casualties, whether civilian, military or Hezbollah. The main significance of the dead, is, according to Mr. Bolton, that they are dead.

Let us leave aside for now the Israeli/Lebanese conflict and focus on our own "War on Terror". One of the main "Truths" about this war, that we hear over and over again from you and your various surrogate apologists, is that it's better to fight the "Axis of Evil" over there, than over here. Given the absence of moral equivalence, why? It's better to kill Muslims here in America. It's cheaper, easier, more fun, less dangerous and more effective than going to Iraq to do it. Let's face facts, no Iraqi ever carried out an act of terrorism against the US. Most of the terrorists involved in 9/11 were more or less permanent residents of the US. Admittedly, they weren't citizens, but these days, who is. Besides, the country they did come from, Saudi Arabia, is one of your most valued "allies". I tell you what. If we had been keeping a close eye on the Arabs in this country over the last couple of years and had killed 30,000 of them who were engaged in "suspicious activities", and had several thousand more locked up, it seems to me we'd be a lot safer than we are. The Arabs that were left would be a lot less surly and better behaved.

The more I think about it, the more I think this no moral equivalence thing might be the key to winning the war on terror.

Sunday, July 23, 2006


Mr. President:

A lot of people are using the occasion of your impromptu backrub of the German Prime Minister, to call you creepy. Creepy, in my book, would would require perverted or unnatural motivations and that is clearly not the case. This behavior is loutish, and sexually inappropriate. To engage in this sort of behavior while huge numbers of the international press are watching through live feed video cameras, indicates extreme stupidity. You were just being you. If you had lifted up the front of her blouse and kissed her on the belly, that would have been creepy. So rest easy, you're not creepy.

Friday, July 21, 2006


Mr. President:

I'm sitting here, with the TV on, waiting to watch Israeli troops cross into Lebanon. It doesn't take a psychic to know that in a few days, the country will be in flaming ruins, for the I don't know how manyeth time in my memory. There will be the usual atrocities; death, dismemberment, and rape. Soon after that the starvation and disease will begin. In the end, what will be left, is what is there now, seething hatred. Hatred for the Israelis and hatred for us. Since you and your puppet minions have been largely silent about what's happening in Lebanon, I feel obligated to alert you to some facts of which you may not be aware.

This is going to come as a shock to you, so you may want to sit down. There is a relationship between the War on Terror that you valiantly embarked us on five years ago and the state of Israel. I know it seems crazy, but things aren't always as they seem; like with that weapons of mass destruction thing. It really isn't our freedom, democracy, way of life, and guiltless consumption of alcohol that makes Arabs despise us and want to fly planes into our most prominent edifices. Think about it, if that were the case, would so many of them come over here to run liquor stores in bad neighborhoods, where they sell whiskey by the shot, cigarettes by the each and condoms by the gross to passing junior high school students. Except when we constrain them from genitally mutilating their daughters, they like America just fine. It is our support of Israel that they're really mad about. That's been the problem the whole time!

The way it got started was like this. Back about the time you were born, we had a President named Truman. World War II was over in Europe but we were still fighting the Japanese. This was back before the time when we weren't allowed to kill "innocent" civilians. So, to avoid invading Japan and getting a lot of American soldiers killed, President Truman nuked some Japanese cities. A lot of people got killed and lot more got sick, so the Japanese gave up right away. Everybody was so happy the war was over, that they elected him to another term as President and gave him a lot of political capital. It was kind of like your re-election, only with him it wasn't all pretend.

At the same time that was happening. It turned out that over in Europe, the Germans had killed a lot of Jews. Nobody in Europe was very fond of the Germans during the war but nobody was very fond of the Jews at any time, so no one had kicked up much of a fuss. This situation made the Germans ashamed, the rest of the Europeans embarrassed and the Jews anxious about staying in Europe, in case it happened again. Everybody was pretty relieved when a lot of the Jews began to pack up and leave Europe. Can you guess where they went ? YUP, Israel.

Only in those days, it wasn't called Israel. It was called Palestine and it was full of Palestinians! Soon, there were so many Jews in Palestine that the Palestinians became very distressed. First there were hard feelings, then quarrels, then they were duking it out in the streets. Before anybody noticed, the Jews had formed their own government, smuggled in guns, and put together a fair sized army. The Palestinians got even more upset, because they didn't have any of these things. Palestine was a British "Protectorate". Britain was supposed to be administering the country, but they were tired, the Empire was threatening to fall apart, and Palestine was not a big producer. The whole thing came to a head when the Jews demanded to cut out a big piece of Palestine and have their own country.

Now we get back to Harry Truman and his political "Capital". Harry had no great regard for Jews and felt no guilt over the fact that so many of them had been killed by Germans. He could see the writing on the wall, though. With all those Jews in Palestine and more coming every day, if they got run out, there was only one place for them to go. That's right GW, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breath free." Harry figured we had all the Jews we needed in America. so he went over to the United Nations and got them to cut up Palestine. We pretty much ran the United Nations in those days, having traded Eastern Europe for it to Joe Stalin at Yalta. He used his political "Capital" to secure the support of the American people. He probably should have saved it for Korea.

Things have never been right in the Middle East since that time. The other Arab countries have never accepted Israel. Israel hasn't helped matters by kicking the shit out of them umpteen times and simultaneously turning their little rock pile into a garden spot and tourist mecca, with a standard of living about the same as Switzerland. Through it all, mostly because we're the ones that started the whole shitball rolling down hill, we've been Israel's friend, sometimes a reluctant friend but their only friend. That's why the Arabs give us a hard time.

So, you can see that we are not in a world wide war on terror, we are in the middle of a 60 year struggle between the Jews and the Arabs. It's true that the Arabs are very ethnocentric and they have issues with many nations of the West. There is also a huge demographic migration out of the Middle East and into Western Europe. No other country has the same issues with the Arab Block as we do, however. That's why we don't have any Allies in this War. If you're going to fight a War, at least take the time to figure out who you are fighting and why. It's not any mystery as to why we're not doing so hot in the "War on Terror". It's because you don't have a GODDAMN clue as to what's really going on. This should prove to people once and for all, that the next time we elect a President, it should be someone who doesn't think that the best use for the pages in history books is to WIPE HIS ASS.

The Israelis will punish the Arabs into temporary quiesence this time and next time and the time after that, but it's only a matter of time. You just have to look at the difference in numbers and in birthrates. Like the Goodbook says, "The race is not to the swift". Who knows, maybe you'll solve the problem George. Say, do you think the Israelis would be willing to relocate to a 20 mile wide strip along the Mexican border?

I've kept you up long enough, goodnight. Maybe Laura can bring you a glass of warm milk. No more than two ounces of whisky in it though, or you'll feel it in the morning and just want more.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Saying it doesn't make it true

Mr. President:

This morning I watched you address the NAACP. It was an inspiring speech. I wonder though, "Where is the substance behind the rhetoric?"

Let's start out with one of your favorite topics, ownership. This is the right to build wealth, own a home, and pass that wealth along to future generations. In America today, 90% of the wealth is owned by 1% of the population; most of the rest is in the hands of the next nine percent. When personal debt is subtracted from real personal assets, the figures are terrifying. The truth is, the majority of Americans are lucky if their balance sheet is only zero, and a large percentage owe more than they own. The sad fact is, money follows money. In New Orleans today, as the city is rebuilding, money is funneling in to rebuild the commercial and tourist centers, areas owned by the investor class. Who is doing this rebuilding? Large corporate construction companies, who are bringing in large numbers of immigrant workers to do "jobs Americans won't do." Where does this leave the poor black population, many of whom lived in the homes they inherited from their parents? They are in cities far away, on welfare, while their homes rot, never to be rebuilt. Those who do return, to try and rebuild, are constrained by authorities from doing so.

Let's go next to education. You talked movingly of visiting a junior high school, where the principal lamented that his 9th grade students couldn't read. You spoke of the need to revitalize our educational system. The truth is, universal mandatory public education has destroyed our school system. The schools are so full of cretinous thugs, with no desire to learn, that serious students aren't able to thrive. Educators have no choice but to enroll them year after year until they can legally drop out and by then it is too late for the rest. It is difficult to motivate students in an atmosphere where drugs, violence, theft, and vandalism are so prevalent.

It bothers me that you feel empowered to talk about the inadequacy of our educational system. As far as I can determine, you can barely read or write. You attended the best schools in the country with an attitude of surly contempt. The fact that you are a drooling moron has not stopped you from becoming a multimillionaire and the President of the United States. Have you thought about the kind of message that sends to the boys smoking crack behind the gym?

Let's move along now to the Voting Rights Act. You spoke of looking forward to signing the renewal of this landmark document. A significant faction of your party continues to try and neuter many of its provisions. Ethnic minorities continue to vote in disproportionately small numbers. The reason for this is not apathy. In many parts of the nation blacks are still actively discouraged from voting or participating in the political process. They are purged from voter registration lists and intimidated at the polls. Electoral fraud, that's stuffing the ballot boxes, if you can't figure it out, remains common in many areas. Your own ascent to the Presidency is not free from well-documented charges of multiple electoral irregularities.

It's a good thing that you went to the NAACP convention. I'm proud of you for doing it, and I'm proud of them for giving you a civil reception. Spouting a lot of rosy-scenario propaganda, though, doesn't help anyone or fool anyone. Civil discourse begins with the truth, and the truth needs to begin with the guy who holds all the marbles -- and that's you. I realize that my discourse with you is not civil and that it never will be. You're a punk, the lowest form of American manhood. Every aspect of your existence is an affront to our proud American tradition. You are a draft dodger, a drug user, a financial insider, and a nose-picking dimwit from an aristocapitalist family who masquerades as a man of the people. Patriotism and religious piety are the clothes with which you hide your true aspect. America has often produced leaders who rose to greatness in the crucible of crisis, while you melt into the base metal from which you are formed. Your actions are not even principled enough to be called treason. They are the self-serving posturing of an unworthy scion.

'Bye for now. Remember, stop after that second drink!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Stem Cells

Mr President:

Today I'd like to talk with you about stem cell research. It looks like Congress, firmly controlled by the GOP, will be sending you a bill authorizing Federal funding for stem cell research. The potential uses for stem cells, as a therapeutic agent in medical care, are still unclear. The purpose of this research is to explore this potential. It is important for you to realize that scientific knowledge, regardless of what religious advisors may tell you, is always a good thing. It is often useful to corporate interests in the pursuit of profit. Scientific advances increase the stature of America in the international community. They have even been known to aid in the national defense. Just as an aside, although I know it is not of interest to you, it may cause the sick to be cured and the lame to rise up and walk.

Unfortunately, this activity would involve the destruction of large numbers of fertilized human eggs. This is in conflict with your strict moral belief, to foster a "Culture of Life". Your strongest supporter in Congress on this issue, Ricky " If She Floats She's a Witch" Santorum, correctly points out that evil, secular humanist scientists, given free reign, will soon set up " Fetus Farms", and who knows what other abominations, to torture these incipient souls. These fertilized eggs, byproduct of clinics striving to provide affluent barren couples with an alternative to adopting a child, who might be, "Not Like Us", are currently disposed of in the time honored, traditional manner, flushing them down the toilet. Oh, what's a poor, developmentally disabled president to do!

If I might be so bold as to offer a suggestion. Take the moral high road. No matter which way you look at it, these eggs are toast. These little guys are never going to get the chance to tear around Midland on Saturday night in a '63 Apache pickup, or get lucky with Peggy Sue after the Prom, but we can do the best we can for them while they're here. After these embryos are thawed out, they're going to have to undergo a maturational process. That's going to involve a liquid medium and that's the answer to your dilemma, Zygotic Babtism!

As the eggs get dumped into the vat down at the fetus factory, and their little cells begin to replicate, an ordained representative of James "Galileo Was Wrong" Dobson's Focus on the Family organization can be there to help them to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. They will then be able to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven with their little undifferentiated cell masses held up high. I know what you're thinking. Dr. Jim isn't going to go along with this. Wrong again, Bonzo. After you point out to him, that as his parishoners, these little zygotic lambs will be allowed to contribute 10% of the gross profits derived from stem cell research as tithes to his Swiss Children's Ministry, you won't be able to hold him back. Who says religion and science can't work together.

I've got to tell you that I'm very excited about the potential benefits of stem cell research and so should you be. It's possible that one day soon Dick Cheney could get a new heart, you could get a new brain, and they could grow poor Karl Rove a spine. Maybe then, you could all skip on down the yellow brick road to the city on the hill, the Emerald City, green with envy and green with cash.

I hope I've helped you work through the difficult decision of whether or not to sign the stem cell research bill, I know you always try to do the right thing. I know that brain thing makes it hard. You should listen to Laura more, and try to cut down on the booze, it's not a good example for Jenna.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Bye for now.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Open letter to President Bush

Over the last several weeks, I have been sending almost daily Emails to President Bush. Even though I know that they will not be read, it's been a very cathartic experiance. Late middle age is the time when old men sit around and whine that the World is going to Hell in a handbasket. Having to go through this unfortunate stage in life with GW Bush as President is a cruel fate. His actions fulfil every dark delusion that plagues my mind.

I have decided to cease sending my Emails to I will instead post them on this blog, like a cry in the wilderness. I invite all others to read these posts and to comment.

I am not posting a letter at this time. The news coming out of the Middle East is so terrible and bleak, and the response by the international community is so lacking, that I am unable to express anything but revulsion and loathing. On one hand I feel like turning toward the wall, refusing to acknowledge what's coming, and on the other, I am spellbound by the purity of the reflexive animosity for everyone else, that characterizes all factions involved. This is a situation that, while religion is at its very core, no one is listening to God.