Lebanon

Mr. President:

I'm sitting here, with the TV on, waiting to watch Israeli troops cross into Lebanon. It doesn't take a psychic to know that in a few days, the country will be in flaming ruins, for the I don't know how manyeth time in my memory. There will be the usual atrocities; death, dismemberment, and rape. Soon after that the starvation and disease will begin. In the end, what will be left, is what is there now, seething hatred. Hatred for the Israelis and hatred for us. Since you and your puppet minions have been largely silent about what's happening in Lebanon, I feel obligated to alert you to some facts of which you may not be aware.

This is going to come as a shock to you, so you may want to sit down. There is a relationship between the War on Terror that you valiantly embarked us on five years ago and the state of Israel. I know it seems crazy, but things aren't always as they seem; like with that weapons of mass destruction thing. It really isn't our freedom, democracy, way of life, and guiltless consumption of alcohol that makes Arabs despise us and want to fly planes into our most prominent edifices. Think about it, if that were the case, would so many of them come over here to run liquor stores in bad neighborhoods, where they sell whiskey by the shot, cigarettes by the each and condoms by the gross to passing junior high school students. Except when we constrain them from genitally mutilating their daughters, they like America just fine. It is our support of Israel that they're really mad about. That's been the problem the whole time!

The way it got started was like this. Back about the time you were born, we had a President named Truman. World War II was over in Europe but we were still fighting the Japanese. This was back before the time when we weren't allowed to kill "innocent" civilians. So, to avoid invading Japan and getting a lot of American soldiers killed, President Truman nuked some Japanese cities. A lot of people got killed and lot more got sick, so the Japanese gave up right away. Everybody was so happy the war was over, that they elected him to another term as President and gave him a lot of political capital. It was kind of like your re-election, only with him it wasn't all pretend.

At the same time that was happening. It turned out that over in Europe, the Germans had killed a lot of Jews. Nobody in Europe was very fond of the Germans during the war but nobody was very fond of the Jews at any time, so no one had kicked up much of a fuss. This situation made the Germans ashamed, the rest of the Europeans embarrassed and the Jews anxious about staying in Europe, in case it happened again. Everybody was pretty relieved when a lot of the Jews began to pack up and leave Europe. Can you guess where they went ? YUP, Israel.

Only in those days, it wasn't called Israel. It was called Palestine and it was full of Palestinians! Soon, there were so many Jews in Palestine that the Palestinians became very distressed. First there were hard feelings, then quarrels, then they were duking it out in the streets. Before anybody noticed, the Jews had formed their own government, smuggled in guns, and put together a fair sized army. The Palestinians got even more upset, because they didn't have any of these things. Palestine was a British "Protectorate". Britain was supposed to be administering the country, but they were tired, the Empire was threatening to fall apart, and Palestine was not a big producer. The whole thing came to a head when the Jews demanded to cut out a big piece of Palestine and have their own country.

Now we get back to Harry Truman and his political "Capital". Harry had no great regard for Jews and felt no guilt over the fact that so many of them had been killed by Germans. He could see the writing on the wall, though. With all those Jews in Palestine and more coming every day, if they got run out, there was only one place for them to go. That's right GW, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breath free." Harry figured we had all the Jews we needed in America. so he went over to the United Nations and got them to cut up Palestine. We pretty much ran the United Nations in those days, having traded Eastern Europe for it to Joe Stalin at Yalta. He used his political "Capital" to secure the support of the American people. He probably should have saved it for Korea.

Things have never been right in the Middle East since that time. The other Arab countries have never accepted Israel. Israel hasn't helped matters by kicking the shit out of them umpteen times and simultaneously turning their little rock pile into a garden spot and tourist mecca, with a standard of living about the same as Switzerland. Through it all, mostly because we're the ones that started the whole shitball rolling down hill, we've been Israel's friend, sometimes a reluctant friend but their only friend. That's why the Arabs give us a hard time.

So, you can see that we are not in a world wide war on terror, we are in the middle of a 60 year struggle between the Jews and the Arabs. It's true that the Arabs are very ethnocentric and they have issues with many nations of the West. There is also a huge demographic migration out of the Middle East and into Western Europe. No other country has the same issues with the Arab Block as we do, however. That's why we don't have any Allies in this War. If you're going to fight a War, at least take the time to figure out who you are fighting and why. It's not any mystery as to why we're not doing so hot in the "War on Terror". It's because you don't have a GODDAMN clue as to what's really going on. This should prove to people once and for all, that the next time we elect a President, it should be someone who doesn't think that the best use for the pages in history books is to WIPE HIS ASS.


The Israelis will punish the Arabs into temporary quiesence this time and next time and the time after that, but it's only a matter of time. You just have to look at the difference in numbers and in birthrates. Like the Goodbook says, "The race is not to the swift". Who knows, maybe you'll solve the problem George. Say, do you think the Israelis would be willing to relocate to a 20 mile wide strip along the Mexican border?

I've kept you up long enough, goodnight. Maybe Laura can bring you a glass of warm milk. No more than two ounces of whisky in it though, or you'll feel it in the morning and just want more.