CREEPY

Mr. President:

A lot of people are using the occasion of your impromptu backrub of the German Prime Minister, to call you creepy. Creepy, in my book, would would require perverted or unnatural motivations and that is clearly not the case. This behavior is loutish, and sexually inappropriate. To engage in this sort of behavior while huge numbers of the international press are watching through live feed video cameras, indicates extreme stupidity. You were just being you. If you had lifted up the front of her blouse and kissed her on the belly, that would have been creepy. So rest easy, you're not creepy.