Monday, September 03, 2007

A Rectal Retentive Approach to Retirement Planning

President Bush has learned that the country is on the verge of an economic crisis. He is determined to intervene, with the help of his hand picked advisers and avert a slowdown in the economy. We have already seen his initial responses. We will be seeing more in the weeks and months ahead. I am sure that he will act swiftly and decisively.

Like he did after 9/11.

Like he did after Katrina.

Like he did with the deficit.

Like he did with the trade imbalance.

Like he did with illegal immigration.

Like he did with Social Security.

Like he did with Medicare.

Like he did with Public Education and illiteracy.

Like he did with Terry Schaivo.

Like he did with stem cell research.

Like he did with the war on drugs.

I could go on but you probably get the idea.

As a citizen of this country, rapidly approaching old age and dependent on modest personal savings and investments for income and security in the years to come, I'm doing what any reasonable person would do.

I'm selling everything I have and buying diamonds. I'm going to put the diamonds in a little bag. I'm going to grease up the bag. . . .and shove it up my rectum.

2 comments:

Edward Cropper said...

How can you shove your diamonds up your rectum when your head will obviously be in the way?

reddog said...

Where there's a will, there's a way.