Calling on the Holy Trinity

We are losing the struggle in Afghanistan. Al-Quaeda is secure in it's mountain strong holds. The Taliban regains it's ideological control over the cities and towns. The Narco-Warlords, sensitive to the shift in power, have slipped the bonds of their American masters. They were able to beat us because they have a terrible and secret weapon, their own version of Rambo. A moribund, cadaverous, six foot, eight inch, Bedouin super hero, able to slip stealthily through the American patrols, amid the caves and mountain passes, trailing behind him several hundred pounds of dialysis equipment and it's attendant electrical generator and medical supplies. How can you catch a guy like that?

Iraq is like something out of a Mad Max movie. The Sunnis are killing the Shiia, the Shiia are killing the Sunnis. The Mullahs are ordering the deaths of grocers who arrange their produce in a provocative manner. The Iraqi government is sending out Ministry of the Interior death squads to disappear anyone who calls for a return to sanity. At this point very few Iraqi deaths are the result of the action of American troops, who are mostly just trying to stay out of the way. George Bush says we've turned the corner. Yeah, but what a corner.

The Israelis are pulling out of Lebanon. George Bush is declaring a victory over Hezbollah. Hezbollah is still in place. Their secret weapon turned out not to be Iranian rockets, but the stategic placement of retarded children and wailing crones. Who can beat something like that? The fallout is just beginning. In Israel, the ruling coalition government will probably fail. In Lebanon, I don't even want to speculate on the future. I don't think anybody does.

You would think that this would be enough mayhem in the Middle East, even for George Bush. You would be wrong, Even now he is planning to bomb the Iraqi nuclear research facilities. It will be happening soon.

Newt Gingrich is going around telling anyone who will listen, that World War III has already started. Since no Arab country has much in the way of a functional army, I'm a little unclear as to his meaning. The TSA would seem to have the real threat to our shores under control. X-ray those shoes, confiscate that breast milk, full cavity search for anybody that complains.

I saw some fat, blowhard evangelist on TV, talking about how these are the end times. He said that Armageddon is coming to the Middle East and only the return of Jesus will end the slaughter. He said we all better call on Jesus to come soon.

He can call on Jesus if he wants. I'm going for the whole hog. The Holy Trinity!

LARRY! MOE! CURLEY! COME ON DOWN HERE NOW! GW NEEDS YOUR HELP!