Pullin' that White Soul Train

Hot time in the old town tonight.

We are making progress in Iraq. It doesn't matter that Afghanistan and Pakistan are disintegrating. It doesn't matter that it's costing us a trillion dollars a year. It doesn't matter that Iraq will never be able to form a democratic government. It doesn't matter that there was no reason to go there in the first place and no reason to stay now. George Bush triumphant.

We are winning the world wide war on HIV/AIDS, proving once and for all that abstinence education was what was lacking in the godless, secular humanist, World Health Organization's pitiful attempts to stem the tide of the dredded epidemic. George Bush triumphant.

By not factoring in rampaging domestic inflation and the precipitous fall of the dollar against world currencies, the US economy can be statistically shown to be expanding. So many of our workers have been laboring in the underground economy, for so long, that unemployment figures remain low. The economy is booming. George Bush triumphant.

Despite the fact that the participants of the Annapolis conference would have accomplished more toward Middle East peace if they had spent the time banging Thai bargirls, mission accomplished Baby! Peace Train a'Commin'. George Bush triumphant.

Hilary Clinton has no experience in government. Not as an executive. Not in domestic affairs. Not in foreign policy. She's fat. She's ugly. She's a terrible public speaker, with no affinity for the masses. Her polling numbers show a very high level of name recognition but it's all negative. She's still kicking Republican ass. Doesn't matter though, she's muff divin' that Saudi girl at her campaign headquarters. Prince Bandar says he can get pictures. He's going to bring them along the next time he has a sleepover with the President. Poor little Huma has a date with the big golden sword, if she ever tries to go home again. George Bush triumphant.

Jenna is still too ashamed to get married at the White House, looks bad. They're working on her though. Tricia's been calling. She'll crack. If George will sober up and he and Laura start sharing a bedroom together, Jena will go for the June wedding. She's a loyal daughter. George Bush triumphant.

Besides all that. Kelsey Grammer's still onboard. Everybody loves Frazier!