Friday, June 25, 2010

Big Sex Scandal

The Republicans are peddling a big Al Gore sex scandal this week.

So, let's see. A guy who ran for President ten years ago and has been out of electoral politics since then, who we now know has been in a long time unhappy and probably sexless marriage, got a room service massage at a hotel a few years ago and asked the lady giving it if she would finish him off with a hand job, according to her. She declined and he didn't carry the request any farther. He apparently paid for the massage in full and probably even gave her a nice tip, judging from the fact that she's kept quiet about it this long.

I gotta tell ya, every massage I've ever heard of, comes with various kinds of sex, if you pay a little more. I have a funny story about that, involving an old Navy buddy of mine, Ernie Bob Palladino, at a sleazy, San Francisco, second story walk up, massage parlor in 1977. It didn't even occur to him he should have to pay more. After a few minutes of desultory ass rubbing and no negotiation for additional payment, he turned over to show the massager his 19 year old hard on. The 40 year old,  scantily clad whore gave him a bottle of baby oil, a towel and walked out of the room. Ernie Bob, not wanting the situation to be a total loss, took care of the situation himself. He was really embarrassed later to learn she would have whacked him off for another $10 bucks, especially since everyone else there got at least that. This is especially true of massage parlor trade and hotel outcalls. I think everyone understands this.  If it had been me paying that kind of money, I would have at least thrown down a little more cash and tried for head. In for a penny, in for a pound. I wonder how much mileage the Republicans will get out of this? Maybe not so much. It's not like he was wearing a diaper, like  David Vitter, trolling for homo love in a Minneapolis airport toilet with Larry Craig, or winging down to Buenos Aires, imagining some mythical great love of his life, like Governor Sanford, just a failed attempt to get an anonymous hand job at a convention center hotel. Even the best of us can have an episode like this on a sad, desperate night, far from home. Just ask Ernie Bob, a loyal shipmate and a hell of a nice guy, he'll tell ya.

I think it actually humanizes Al's public image a bit, although in retrospect it seems a bit stuffy of him to have begrudged his buddy Bill those oval office blow job and cigar banging sessions with Monica. Monica seemed to be even more interested in the action than Bill and talk about enduring your long time sexless marriages, pul-eese.

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