Sunday, September 07, 2008

Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear, Free Lunch for Regular Patrons Only

More and more, out in the fundo bloggy sphere, you hear justification of and even congratulations to, Sarey Paleface, for not exposing herself to the evil machinations of the MSM. After all, few of them are real Americans. None are Pentecostal. The Catholic ones should all be denied Communion and excommunicated. A few of the Jews are right thinking but only on Middle Eastern issues, otherwise they get all bleeding heart. The men are all pansies and the women are all filthy, baby aborting, whores, except for Helen Thomas, a demon from Hell, who even the Devil himself would never fornicate with. In interactions with the press, Republicans are made to look like racist, sexist, elitist tools of the entrenched power structure. Everyone knows that nothing could be further from the truth. It was bad enough in the old days, when the news media was controlled by godless commies. Now they are all secular humanists and take their orders from the Dark Prince himself.

It is increasingly accepted by Conservibloggies, that all Republican candidates and office holders should attend only speaking engagements, attendance at which, is tightly controlled by the party and limited by venue to military reservations and private men's clubs. That is what Bush/Cheney have done, since their first election and it has only furthered the cause.

I'm sure that on special occasions, to assuage the public, Republican politicians could field questions from a select panel of carefully screened and coached cable news personalities, as long as the questions were submitted well before hand and the inappropriate ones stricken. Of course, there would have to be a tape delay for editorial purposes. Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck, would probably be acceptable. Katey Couric would even be OK, to cover the feminine angle, if she would submit to a lobotomy or even just several hundred milligrams of Thorazine, administered shortly before the taping.

Eventually, it would be better if elections were held on the party platforms only and the names of the actual electees were announced afterward. Since only one party truly reflects the thoughts and best interests of the American people, the nasty, divisive, bipartisan system could be dispensed with as well. Many of our fine democratic allies do exactly this and it works out very well for them. We even train our allies to do this, at "The School of the Americas", an American Army facility at Fort Benning. We cover everything needed for the nurturing of true democracy, from the organization of the first covert death squads to the proper application of lime on the last mass graves. Why shouldn't we practice what we preach?

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